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How Can I Stop My Divorce?

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A lot of people going through rough times will ask the question, "How Can I Stop My Divorce?" There is no real catch all answer or solution to the question; each marriage and each person is different. There are some mistakes that are very commonly made, however, and from these we can learn what needs to be done to win back a partner and avoid mistakes.

The first common mistake is that a person will give lines that are meant as reassurances. Saying that you will be better or that things have changed. This sort of line is rarely believed. It sounds desperate and truly insincere, and makes you appear weak in the eyes of your partner. It does not matter how sincere you are or how much you think they want to hear it. "I have changed' will not stop my divorce!"

What will work is to not say anything. There will not be much that will convince them or reassure them. Actions are what are needed. Do not say that you have changed, actually change. You should be strong in working with you partner, and do the things that are needed to fix your relationship.

Another mistake made is to engage in emotional blackmail. Saying "I love you," is an obvious line, that makes it seem that you are attacking their weak point. That phase is one of the most powerful of phrases. It carries with it so much weight and power, that it is something that should not be used lightly. It should definitely not be used to try and fix a failing marriage.

How can you convey your love then? You might ask how you can "stop my divorce" if you never say "I love you?" You should not say "I love you" when you and your partner are in a weak emotional state. Save the line for when the marriage is mended. Otherwise, you will tax your spouse emotionally.

The next big mistake to make is to argue. "If they see their hypocrisy, that will stop my divorce." Techniques of reason to change your spouses mind, or attempting to guilt them to your side, is destined for failure. One wants to be right, and convince your partner that you are right, or you want to point out the failings of your partner. This sort of thing will only push you farther away.

The fix is to not argue. Do not enter into an argument, and do not start an argument. All that will do is add to the problem. "How can not fixing the problem stop my divorce?" The root of the problem can only come to light if you remove the competition and need to win.

"So, how can I stop my divorce," you may ask. The short answer is to not attack and to use actions over words. It will be through being strong and making changes that things will change. "Words will not stop my divorce, logic and reason will only hurt, I must act and solve the problems without lip service."



 

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