Bookmark and Share


You Can Improve Your Relationship

Free PDF eBook!

Enter Your First Name
and Email Address to Download

It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. Itís as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Yet, look around us. In the US, the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I donít know anywhere but baseball where a 50% average is a good thing.

Couples go through life getting along when times are good; and fighting with, ignoring, or leaving each other when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationships means to admit a certain kind of defeat that says something about who they are as a person. Or possibly, they believe that relationships are something we are just supposed to be able to manage on our own. Or, finally, some people believe that those out there helping couples canít know any more than they do. After all, whatís to know about keeping relationships together?

Well, the truth is that there is a whole lot to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the only training most of us ever receive is the passive learning we get through the modeling of the adults who live in our house with us and the media. Now, I donít know about you, but my parents had only received the informal training they got from their parents, and they from my great grandparents and so on back through the generations. There is so much more to know about relationships than that!

Also, my parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited earlier in that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that couples never argue, especially in front of the children. On the surface, my parents had a very happy marriage but my father experienced a stereotypical mid-life crisis and suddenly questioned the meaning of ďlifeĒ and decided marriage was holding him back somehow.

In some ways, this type of training may have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural by-product of relationships. It is virtually impossible for two people to come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions or day-to-day activities coming into conflict with each other. The question becomes how the couple manages this conflict.

There are many things to consider when speaking about couples and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract and I believe there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of attraction as that chemical interaction that occurs when two people meet and are attracted. This chemical attraction doesnít care what the other personís values are, what is important to him or her, the personality characteristics involved, or what either of you likes to do in your spare time. Compatibility is a key for a successful, healthy relationship.

A second consideration is simply that there are major differences in how men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women generally donít understand men because the men donít act like women and similarly, men donít understand women because they donít act like men. And since a woman has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does each learn about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. But I would say that the majority of people in relationships donít take the time to learn about these gender differences. It is easier to point a finger and blame the other person for his or her ďirrationalĒ behavior.

As mentioned earlier, a third area of growth is learning how to manage conflict. There are time proven methods for resolving conflict that we donít learn in school or from a book. There are ways to actually hear each other in relationships. By placing the relationship FIRST in importance, these methods can be implemented by couples to greatly improve their satisfaction.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please donít become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life.



 

Saving Marriage Videos and More Articles

Loading...

Is Your Husband Going Through A Midlife Crisis?

... his midlife crisis. He may start to dress more carefully and youthfully and may get involved in some energetic activities. He may begin paying more attention towards his appearance, may talk about going on a diet, may join a gym or may dye his hair. He may complain about the appearance of his wife, he ...

Who Can Help Me Save My Marriage?

... experienced marriage counselors who found a formula for what works, so they usually have a success rate higher than that of most marriage counselors. Whatever you do, don t delude yourself into thinking the problems between you and your spouse will disappear of their own accord. It s not enough to sit ...

Marriage Counseling - When To Save Your Relationship?

... couples seek marriage counseling. This is but natural, for there are endless possibilities why how people create conflicts in their marriages. Though it is widely accepted that all marriages are bombarded with difficulties some time in their lives, it is sad to note that many don't seem to override them. ...

How To Find A Good Marriage Counselor And Save Your Marriage

... counselors at their offices, you can call one clinic at a time. Ask their respective assistants to speak to the counselor you are considering by phone. When you are about to speak some questions after your introductions and purpose, you can ask these following questions: - How many years have you been ...

5 Tips To Make Her Respect You

... to her all the time, she will be proud of you and will show more and more respect for you. 5. Be confident and polite. Look into her eyes when she talks to you and make her feel that you are a person who can trust in. Show her that she can talk with you about any subject or problem she has and can count ...

 

Recommended Saving Marriage Products









Home |  Free eBook |  Contact Us |  Privacy Policy |  Site Map